my life is pure

aku baru je selesai peperiksaan ptd yg tidak kusukai. dah pernah amek dulu, dan dah lulus serta berjaya masuk ke peringkat ke-2 yg dijalankan di terengganu. tp gagal di peringkat ke-2 itu. tp aku amek gak exam lg skali demi mak ayah aku. pdhal aku dah lama daftar, dan kali pertama dipanggil bg peperiksaan ke-2 ini aku ada convo, jd aku tak gi. so aku ingat aku takkan dipanggil lg, ternyata aku silap kerana telah dipanggil utk exam pd harini. nak tak nak kene gi jugakla sbb mak ayah dah tau.

dgn hati yg berat, aku pun pergi dgn harapan utk gagal. mmg wasted. tp kene buat gak. aku cuba buat yg terbaik meskipun aku tak belajar, tp aku tak nak la jwb mcm org bodoh melainkan aku benar2 tak tahu jwb. alhamdulillah segalanya berjln dgn lancar.

peperiksaan kedua ini dijalankan di sekolah menengah seksyen 7 s.alam. dimana suasananye benar2 membawa aku mengimbau kenangan zaman sekolah dulu. waktu aku sekolah, kelas terasa sgt besar, sekolah terasa sgt luas, kini kelas terasa kecil dan papan hitam pula nampak kecik jugak. dulu masa sekolah kalu duduk blkg, apa pun tak nampak. tp td duk blkg, segalanye nampak. hmm, mungkin aku terlalu besar kini, tak mcm dulu..kekekeeke. sedar tak sedar, hampir 8 thn aku tak kembali ke skolah.

masa ke tandas td, aku ingat nak ke tandas pelajar perempuan, tp apabila mengenangkan baunye..uhuhuhu, aku pun dgn selambanye masuk tandas guru. mmg bersih dan ok la. hati tu rasa gembira dan  teruja mcm zaman2 sekolah dulu dimana pelajar dilarang sama sekali masuk tandas guru, tp kini aku bebas utk melakukannye..kekekeke..

hmm, sgt merindui zaman sekolah, baju sekolah, suasana sekolah, takde pressure, hanye study dan study.

kan bagus kalu ada reunion kat sekolah, dan masing2 memakai bj sekolah sendiri, tp nak buat skrg pun susah, sbb dah lost contact, bj sekolah pun ada yg dah kasi org…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

If I say I love you, I’ll be at ease,
The truth is, even though I know that
When I sound it out, you seem to leave me
I wonder, what do you think of me?
At our current distance we’re merely friends, right?

today 16/01/2009.. i’ve hurt the closest persons in my life because of my selfishness.

1) my best friend whos’ married and cannot distance his husband just for 3 days with me and my friends for a trip to Pulau Pangkor on this coming Febr. why i said that i’m selfish is because I didn’t come out with solution to overcome this situation, but just ignore and let it be just like that eventho i really hope that she can come along and join us without her husband because this is “girls vacation day”. i feel so bad for being selfish..just think on how to get myself to pangkor, not try to understand her condition because of her husband is the type who can’t live without his beloved wife that is also my best friend. however, i’ve given a thought that this is a “girls vacation day”, no boys are allowed, even our bf also wont allowed to follow us at first place. hmm, i’m sorry my friend..but this is a “girls vacation day”… why is that so difficult for me to have a vacation after i was given a permission from my parent to have my own holiday???

2) i have post up my picture with my 1st bf, just to show off to someone who’s being quite close to me before i met with my bf. this someone..of course its a guy, a guy that i have fallen with, waiting for him all alone from far away because his travelling from one place to another place..never met, only crush thru net (its a cyber love-i know its a whatever u wanna say it)..and then this guy is like pushing and pulling me as and when he likes..thats the reason why i tried to forget him and accept someone who really wanna have the commitment with me.and here i am. lately this guy wanna met me, but i keep on refusing, and thats the reason why i post the picture, just to tell him indirectly that i’m hooked up with someone. maybe he will feel frustrated or he wont feel anything at all, nothing to lose. but still..i feel bad for this. i’m sorry.

i have a good connection with him, i shared many stories with him. and i think almost 60% about my life he knows, starting from my campus life until my workplaces, my personal life, my family..he knows that. only me, hardly to get to know about him because he’s kinda secretive. and then, one thing that i mostly like about him is that; we shared the same genre/type of song..every songs that he shared with me, i do really really enjoy it, and whats more i feel the melody, the words deeply inside my heart, and assuming that the song was dedicated and meant for me. but now, no more. i hardly to feel that way anymore…i love my bf very much..

my bad…

well…today 23/08/2008 on 11.30am i’m officially graduated from one of the most top university in malaysia. alhamdullillah everythings smooth from the beg till the end during the ceremony…and whats more i met sultan pahang and he’s the one who delivers my scroll..hehehe..and he says “CONGRATULATIONS, BACHELOR OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION WITH HONORS”.

however, this moment really reminds me the difficulties and the hardship that i’ve gone thru during my semesters. what i have today is because of the past, the past not just test and teach me in my studies, my moods, my mental and physical, emotional, but also relationship/friendship and environment of living with “human beings”…

most, the valuable experience is that, as a student, its not just for searching knowledge, along that it teaches me the true meaning of friendship. laughter frens easy to get, but cry fren is hard to get one. however, i manage to found 2 before i graduated. thanks to God to give me the opportunity to have a great friend in my life. and for the people who i’m not able to be fren with anymore, thank you for the memories, and thats all for now because life has to go on and never ever turn back, and i never regret for what had happened, and i have accepted it with all of my heart.

i think thats all i can say now. i pray that my ilmu/knowledge will get barakah and make me a better person from time to time, and i do really hope to have the opportunity to pursue my studies. my journey as a student wont stops here as, and that is a promise, because seeking knowledge is my passion.

“carilah ilmu walau di ceruk rantau mana pun, kerana ilmu tidak pernah habis walau badan telah dikandung tanah”.

its quite a long time i didnt drop by in my beloved blog..hehehe.

ok, the hot story of my life now is, i’ve resigned from one of the top retailing company in malaysia. and now i’m working in a mnc company somewhere in damansara. here, i really enjoy and love the environment.  and this is the place that i wanna work at..hehehe =p

but, its kinda tough becoz working with prof environment makes me dont wanna be left behind. and i have to run really fast to be at the same track with them. not like previous..hehehe. meaning that this job place is more challenging and adventurous.

one thing that pissed me off rite now about my previous place is that, the company didnt pay my salary last month. oh, what the hell. and whats more after i’ve left the company about one month, now only i’ve been assigned to prepare a hand over report about my job responsibilities before i leave the company. and if the report does not meet the requirement of my superior, than i’ve to stay without any payments on. oh..shit…this really cruel man. what to they want?

still i’m pissed off becoz my payment is hang.

anyway, i love my new job …hehehe

In spite of all wishes,

Love is always in my future.

Eventhough love is very strange,

And its like a tricky city for me,

But still it is a “place” where I wanted to live.

I really can’t say it,

But I really do wish to see you.

One day I will meet up with you,

Who are full with the scent of a daisy.

I know for all this while,

You’re stealing a glance at me,

And hide yourself,

But yet,

You’re always there next to me.

Finally, I get to know who you really are,

I’m sorry we can’t be together,

Its too late now,

You must leave.

And I keep on hurting and hurting myself,

Because I always “scents” the daisy…

Bila kekasih mengundang aku pulang
Mahligai menanti penuh gemilang
Bila kekasih menyingkap tabir cinta
Tiada terbatas dengan kata-kata

Seribu tahun dan sejuta langkah
Seribu tahun bersinar cinta
Kita bertemu di penghujung rindu

ini adalah petikan dari lagu jamal abdillah yg bertajuk “penghujung rindu”, my fav old song. ia berkisarkan ttg sepsg kekasih yg menantikan detik2 utk bersatu sehingga terpaksa mengharung segala dugaan utk bersama. tp bagi aku pula, lagu ini aku tujukan pd sahabatku di zaman kampus. kenapa aku tujukan lagu ini pdnya adalah kerana setiap saat kami bersama, susah senang, suka duka yg kami harungi, aku lakukan dgn sepenuh hati, tak pernah ada penyeselan ataupun ungkitan. cuma satu yg aku kesalkan, persahabatan kami putus begitu sahaja. segala kenangan, gelak ketawa seumpama tidak memberi erti utk kami bertahan lagi. aku rindukan dia. gelak serta gurauan, aku kongsikan hanya bersama dia, tidak pd org lain. hati aku selalu terdetik..mungkinkah dia mampu gelak ketawa spt yg dia dpt ketika bersamaku dulu? kerana aku sehingga kini tidak dpt menemui penggantinya sampailah bila bila, kerana dia adalah sahabatku.

tapi, walau seteruk mana pun aku menahan kerinduan ini, sehingga nafasku yg terakhir pun aku tak mahu berjumpa dgnnya lagi. kerana perpisahan ini adalah kemahuannya.

do i love my job? hmm…memula tu mmgla happy sbb dpt keje yg dimahukan…nak sesuatu yg excited..yg mencabar…lain dari yg lain (my frens) but later on i feel like i want to have a normal job. keje mcm org lain, 5 days a week, masuk pagi balik ptg. takder shift pagi atau shift ptg. hmmm…and then dpt cuti ke sana sini spend time dgn family and frens on weekend…hmmm…

do i love my job? yes i do love my job. from time to time i can cope with my job and learn many new things. and also think widely and opened my eyes on how to overcome such scenario thats totally new for me =p (such a nerd/geek)

however…i want to have a normal job. but, the thing now is, i’d confirmed with my place..rasa syg pulak nak resign secepat ini..then still searching for the best place for me..hmm..nampaknyer keje lagi la kat sinih for few mths lagi…i guess..or for a year…maximum!!! hahaha…

hey..

can japan and korea be together? heard that both countries are enemy before…hehehe.

anyhow..no matter where they come from…they’re just human being who have a heart to loved and to be loved

now..everythings are normal…the japanese and korean are together back at one…no staying far away like they used to be before…and their relationship is getting better and improve. and the most important thing is, the korean is happy from time to time, and counting days to be as “one” with japanese

*^__^*

today is my first time of interview…whereby i’d being interviewed for 2 positions, and this session took me long hours of waiting.

 since yesterday, i’m totally out of mood. i hardly speak to anyone. so, i keep myself shut. but today when i arrived at the place, my mood is back again. i’m not nervous or scared to be interviewed because i’m well prepared, its just that the thing that i worried is about my speaking, my vocab and my pronounciation. anyway, eventhough there are weaknesses during the interview, but it went smoothly and whats more the interviewer are nice person and cool too *^_^*

i hope that i can get this job, because i really like it so much, and i would like to thanks for those who have prayed for me, and maybe of your prays i managed to calm myself and think wisely during the interview.

thank you again.